I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize