How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
