have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
