could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
