32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
