haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
