I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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