So drunk its hurt
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just tell him i said nine months
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
