Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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