party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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