i just google imaged poop.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
