i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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