why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
How external is "for external use only"?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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