I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
