In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Is Oprah even human
Randomize
