never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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