Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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