I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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