my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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