Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
