He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
