I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
