It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
