Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
