sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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