The brown eye won't let me do that either.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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