Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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