Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
