i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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