Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
What a dumb baby whore.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
