I love black thongs
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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