first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
