spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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