WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
