Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
