Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
