i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
you never un-have a 4some
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
