Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
