Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
