Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
