i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
