I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's blow job season.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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