don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
