if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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