And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
birth control should be required to get into college
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
