I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize