The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
