Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
