If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
