I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
