ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
