Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
