just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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