kristin has been a bad kristin
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
