Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
