New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Randomize