Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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