Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
