you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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